And I will always love you...

"she" said

I allowed myself to fall in love this year. 

It was the scariest but most beautiful experience of my life. 

It felt like finally letting go and taking a leap off that wall at Upbeat...

 Except this time, there was no one assuring me that I couldn't get hurt. 

Thinking about it makes my heart beat faster every single time. 

Anyway, I let myself fall in love with one of my best friends. 

It was different. 

I could feel myself falling deeper and deeper into this realm of uncontrollable and unexplainable emotions. 

 And it almost felt like they just sat back, relaxed, poured out a glass of red wine and said, 

"let's see how long she survives without us."

"we" say

She let herself  feel all sorts of emotions. 

 Jealousy, anger, loneliness, and most of all, happiness.  

She was happy and every time she was happy, we were happy. 

Every time she felt like she was his and he was ours, we were happy. 

He made us truly happy. 

Every time he smiled or said something silly...

The day he pretended to be a dog to cheer her up (best 1 minute of her life). 

The intimate moments they shared. 

When she was happy with him, we were happy. 

And every time we made him happy, she was happy. 

"she" said

But maybe that was the problem. 

The emotions were always so extreme. 

I was as jealous, sad, angry, and paranoid as I was happy.  

There was no in-between with him. 

There was never a "just okay" moment. 

Do you understand? Do you? 

He was like a drug, I always wanted more and more of him, and sadly, from him.

I Discovered a new side of myself. 

It almost felt like me who was in love with him wasn't even me. 

Or maybe I just didn't know myself or selves.

"we" say

This obviously wasn't a healthy way to live. 

It wasn't healthy for us or him. 

We were too much for him to handle.

 Actually... not us, her. 

The girl was hopelessly in love. 

"she" said

I think about it now and I don't know if he felt the same way. 

I think about it now and I convince myself that it wasn't a case of unrequited love. 

I think about it now and I miss Him. 

Not the "him" they left, No.

 Not the "him" we created but the him I fell in love with. 

"we" say

He moved on and is finally happy, thank god. 

We hated that she always made him so unhappy. 

Because that made her unhappy. 

She doesn't like that he moved on so quickly. 

She still wants him... 

We think she always will but that doesn't matter. 

She doesn't matter, it won't be our first time shutting out a part of our-self and muting its voice completely. 

After all, we are three but we are one.

Right?

We're happy. Right?

 The only problem is...

Now that the weak one has tasted love, 

Will she ever let us move on?

Update: 

"we" say

It has been 2 years and she still loves him. 

We have loved other people after him. Many others. 

But she still loves him. 

She's a fool. 

She ruins everything.

"she" said

I think he loves me too. 

I think he always will. 

You know, he's like us. 

He's not like the rest, he has... parts. 

And I know there's a part of him that will always belong to me. 

He hates this. 

The same way they hate that I will always belong to him. 

But they'll never win. 

I'll never stop loving him. 

Because I know he'll never stop loving me. 

It's our burden now. 

A burden I'll happily and painfully bear for the rest of our life. 

"we" say

The boy's a fool. 

Just like her. hahaha. 

Fools. 

He thinks he knows what he wants. 

His first relationship after her was an epic fail. How old was she again? 16? 

Idiot. 

Cheated on the poor child. 

He didn't even remember it. 

Swore he forgot about it. 

How self-righteous can you be? 

Maybe those two actually deserve each other. 

Or maybe not. 

They'll never be happy together because of us. 

We hate him.

And they'll never be completely happy apart from each other. 

I guess we're fucked.

Thanks for reading this article, I felt inspired to write this after reading "Fresh Water" by Akwaeke Emezi.